Knowing Yourself, Exploring Others to Improve Every Conversation
We often protect our hearts to such a great extent that we miss opportunities to have healthy conversations where we really see the people right in front of us: our spouse, our children, our parents, our close friends, and even total strangers. Based on Dr. Wheeler’s 27 years as a counselor, this content will give readers a new framework for what is actually occurring beneath the surface in a conversation in order to help them better connect with and help others. Pain from the past creates a strong desire for self-protection, and this self-protection prevents intimacy from occurring. By becoming aware of how our self-protective facade works in a relationship and also how it prevents us from reaching out to speak words of hope and life to others, we can learn how to improve every important conversation.
Dr. Larry Crabb, well-known author, speaker, counselor, and spiritual director points out that “The local church must assume responsibility for the individual personal care of each member. Obviously no ministerial staff can deal adequately with the staggering needs for individual attention and concern within the body. Nor should it even try to. The job belongs to the members of the local body.” As well as learning to see and better engage with our spouse and other family members, we can also learn how to personally care for hurting individuals and move closer to the goal of becoming more like Christ by loving one another selflessly.
This dynamic talk will present a guide for helping individuals, parents, leaders, and pastors, first, to understand how painful events in their past and responses to those events affect their ability to connect with, impact, and genuinely see people in the present. Second, after becoming aware of self-protection and how it stops us from loving others, to understand how powerful yet simple it can be to recognize when someone else is hurting, recognize someone’s self-protection, and realize he or she could use a phone call from someone asking, “Would you like to go to coffee so we can talk?”
Dr. Larry Crabb, well-known author, speaker, counselor, and spiritual director points out that “The local church must assume responsibility for the individual personal care of each member. Obviously no ministerial staff can deal adequately with the staggering needs for individual attention and concern within the body. Nor should it even try to. The job belongs to the members of the local body.” As well as learning to see and better engage with our spouse and other family members, we can also learn how to personally care for hurting individuals and move closer to the goal of becoming more like Christ by loving one another selflessly.
This dynamic talk will present a guide for helping individuals, parents, leaders, and pastors, first, to understand how painful events in their past and responses to those events affect their ability to connect with, impact, and genuinely see people in the present. Second, after becoming aware of self-protection and how it stops us from loving others, to understand how powerful yet simple it can be to recognize when someone else is hurting, recognize someone’s self-protection, and realize he or she could use a phone call from someone asking, “Would you like to go to coffee so we can talk?”
We will always move towards self-protection before we move to love, if we are not aware of what is fueling our self-protective façade. And it makes sense to put on this façade when we feel disrespected, unappreciated, vulnerable, missed, disappointed, and exposed. Through Coffee Conversations we will show people, first, how self-protection, pain, and burdens from the past affect them in the present, and secondly, help them choose to intentionally move towards others in love, through, and in spite of the walls of self-protection, in order to go beneath the surface in conversations, rather than moving through life controlled by the fear of being exposed.
Dr. Tony WheelerFamily Ministry Insitute
Did you know that if you are a Believer in Christ you are the one God will work through to bring good news to those around you as you meet with and speak to others? In Colossians 3:12 you are called “chosen,” “holy,” and “dearly loved,” and out of this place of security you are able to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love in your next conversation:
In Galatians 6:2 we are called to, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” The law of Christ is to love God and love others. How will we love people if we are afraid to have conversations with them? May you experience the incredible joy of laying down your life, your fear, your anxiety, your painful past, your shame, your pride, your own self-protection and needs, in order to serve and love those around you, sometimes just through a healthy conversation over a simple cup of joe. |
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Col. 3:12 NIV |
About the Teacher
Dr. Wheeler has been a pastor, a church planter, a counselor, a professor, and a sought after marriage and family speaker. He developed and has been teaching the content at the heart of this seminar since 2005. He earned a Ph.D. in Family Life Education and Consultation from Kansas State University, and has a Master’s Degree in Family Studies/Therapy from Friends University. He has been a counselor since 1992 and has helped many couples and individuals find relief from their pain and solutions to their problems. He always directs people to the true source of rest and hope: Jesus Christ. After being a counselor for over 25 years, he was surprised how many times he would hear so many people tell him, “I’ve never told anyone what I am about to tell you!” Recognizing that it doesn’t take a trained therapist to listen to someone and give love, care, and attention to people who are hurting, Tony developed the content for this Coffee Conversations seminar. He has had the incredible opportunity to work, at key times, for over thirteen years with Dr. John Trent and his Strong Families ministry, and as well as strategically aligning with Dr Trent. Dr. Wheeler now serves as President and founder of the Family Ministry Institute. Dr. Wheeler has been an instructor at Kansas State University, Manhattan Christian College, Phoenix Seminary, and has guest lectured at Pepperdine and Moody Theological Seminary. He has also been a full-time professor at Barclay College for the last seven years, teaching in both the undergraduate program and graduate program as well as serving as the Director of the new Master of Arts in Family Ministries (MAFM) program that began in the fall of 2015. He recently resigned from Barclay to pursue his ministry full time. Tony recently gave this seminar at the faculty in-service training for Moody Bible College and Moody Theological Seminary to better help them respond to the needs of their students.
Host a Family Ministry Institute
Seminar at your church
help build healthy, strong family relationships within those you care for
©
2017-2021 Wheeler Ministries. Website by OpenHand Creative